I only live inside your memory, mom ~

I woke up again from a memory of despair.Inside the timeline, my child that I carried day and night, I saw down the memories carrying so much pain. I knew I was still stuck inside time , I raise an eye to the sky, and pray.  I ask the lord to vanish all the sorrow.

Life became a heavy burden to carry. Walking alone again was unbearable. Alone, my arms ache of the loss, there where a child used to lay, the pain inside my eyes grew like never

I thought it would be easy,asked the lord to make me forget, to put me in amnesia, to delete all from my memory, so that my brain hold nothing except 0 and 1. I knew this was impossible, I knew that I had to learn how to forget, to fight the feeling, to fight her sight, to struggle my fights to fall a sleep.

Even sleeping became hard to when I used to sleep for hours, now i only fall asleep for 3 minutes and wake up in dismay. I look up again to the ceiling, trying to figure out another positive scenorio, but again i return back to point 0.

Learning to learn back how to live, after the dismiss is very hard. Their memories are still alive inside the corner of your soul. Everything in the pictures are so alive. I fetch for me inside the death, inside the grey corner of my memories. I am dismissed inside the memories.

I knew that loneliness crushed part of my youth, took away the spirit, the soul, the love that gave me hope to live

I stopped there, inside a memory of yesterday, I was writing another entry, promised this time to forget and forgo. To begin another line in my crowded story. To find a new place, actually a brand new spot, to scavenge the memory of pain.....