Secretcorner81

"When everyone  lost hope in me, one decided to never quit", I confess. I met him halfway, in the mid of my darkness. I remember I was walking , walking without hope, even without a map. Walking for the sake of it. So I thought since I decided, and since i am known of being strong headed, I continued walking, even when the way was not promising. But then I thought how could I quit when I knew all was looking at me, nonstop. From the window, I look down everday I saw him planting some flowers, of where the details hide in between. He whispered me some words. I never saw my eyes catching those lines, thought I was shy. I backed away, maybe I ran. I knew I was running, and I remembered myself, why I was doing this? and I never found an answer Somewhere, in my daily rut. I walked by a window to catch the best seller. I remember it was a new book lined up on the first row, I stood there for minutes studying the words, the texture of the book was mesmeriz...

The same, all the same could be different from a different perspective. We all need a different angle to understand reality. Reality is a prisim of difference ruled by circumstances, and so we. We are different, even days brush some difference into our time. We are in constant change, we differ between now and then. Nothing really stays the same not in years, we never stand still... We are always restless , always looking for something different to bring some change . Reality is, some fear change not for the thought of uncertainity, but for becoming different than yesterday. For some, change could cause turbulance into their routine, which could disturb their comfort zone. Certainity for many people promises security, comfort, and realiability. Things we are used to even sadness makes us comfortable and maintained. At a particular time in our life span, we look for change because we are either stuck or not loving the way  we handle our lives. So we st...

I sat down there scribbling thoughts on papers. Repeating down so many confusion, until my head turns blur. I think I became addicted to the thought of overthinking, bringing around so many scenarios, and what if. Bringing back headache to my already busy head. I realized sometimes we are the only reason for our happiness or the oppositte. We ourselves  decide if we want to be happy or turn sad for whatever reasons we find attractive. Thinking is our first point of change, we either positive or negative stirr our path. When all we need passion and a push start to start our day, we decide misery to trouble our trend. Happiness is a choice and so saddness. To learn how to master life is an ultimate goal, to set life on a smooth path, designed by achievements and happy ends. You decide your own destiney since the inception of your first thought. Your first impression about yourself, your first thought about your self confidence. You decide to be strong or somewhere weak, troubled...

I flipped through the past. I thought I saw it walking by, I saw yesterday looking at me through the lines. I traced my fingers through the pictures of which memories sing a song, I saw laughter, giggles and happy moments sketched through the corners of every frame. I know the fact of me clinging into the past, into my friends who passed me by, of every new outfit, of every new sneakers and kite. I knew I was overwhelmed by the happy moments that used to be everywhere. Of me and cousin laughing from a prank call, of every dream and plan. I knew I am still longing back to yesterday.. "De ja Vu"- I think i saw that moments, that face seemed so familiar, I remembered that melody,I think I saw a pile of memories repeating again its line. Somewhere I belong through the memories I sing a song. I write, I think I ve written so many lines, describing a feeling, a memory, a happy moment. I think I ve written so many lyrics, repeated that song on players. Somewhere through ...

I sip another cup, I reclaimed. This was meant to be, I declared. I watched endlessly,and never refrained. These are the things I always complain about. I am inside a dazed circle of thoughts,sometimes I swim in dismay, and sometimes I fall to repair myself again. But I never quit, sometimes my memory never stops! These are the things that keep me insane. I look so strong for so many, and yet I fall weak inside myself, so many times. I look so courages, and i remember how many times I hugged my pillow in fear for so many hours. I feel so independent, and yet I feel so strained. Contradiction,  we are battling contradiction. We reflect something, and hide so many things. We always find execuses, stories, turnaround stories, wayside stories to divert people's attention from our lives. We live inside a busy hives, everyone is so proud to show his life in a social media slides . We picture this or that, and sometimes we find a beauty spot to reflect somewhere. Social media dilemma...

I think I left a piece of me somewhere, I cant recall where, when and how. I think I left my soul away from here, away from this land, all i feel is a constant discharge, a hurt of some sort. I go back in the memory lane, where my friends were so close, where the sun used to be my guide, I think i found no one now, all i see a casting shadow on my mirror every day.. an anguish scream falling from my eyes.. I remember when everything was so easy and true, i guess i left my life there, drove to a place where there is no come back.. i see them running in front of me, and I am there, stranded in misery, I tend to scream, but I cant, something is holding my lines, I tend to run, and i cant .. something is holding me in place, I look up my window every night before I fall to sleep, I draw another shadow  infront of my pillow, someone there to tell me, who is me? I cant hear, anymore, my head is screaming at the top of nowhere, i hear no one, and no one can undestands me, I smell b...

Today, I am different.. maybe a little wiser.. a little quieter.. a little of some sort of difference that made me look into things almost, differently Its part of life, a cycle of non-stop evolution. I have certainely learned through pain quite alot, I ve  learned to be in moderation.. to be in the middle.. to watch before reacting.. cause in the end nothing really matters... all shatters down into a mess, but always remember you ve got yourself in the end- so keep yourself in tact of reality.. of the truth and of your path Life expand inside us, we grasp reality in a different way... some rebel but in the end they discover they ve lost in so many ways... cause "HASTE will always make WASTE" and some wait for destiney to correct all their mess, and others push their good deeds to reap only the good.. For me, I was the quiet one, maybe a little bit ideal in my dealings or even hopes and expectation.. I thought "Mother" taught me always to be the good, the kin...