Secretcorner81

"  you will not, and so am I " She screamed arrogantly. She wasn't aware she was falling endlessly in an endless pit of dark emotions. Emotions she kept aside for so many years. She wasn't aware she was dying from a dangerous venom. A venom of no cure or solution. She wasn't also aware  she was out of breath. What she was aware of, she stood waiting for something that hasn't come, and was not sure if it will arrive or not~   -----   A life with no hope is no life " she was thinking loud, as she brushed the dust from the book corner. She always made sure she sweeped the floor meticulously. Things she used to enjoy whenever she had her OCD attack. Things she used to repeat to sooth her burning mind.   ----   She lost all contact, even  her closed ones. People she used to keep dear to her herart. People she used to remember, but all she got is no contact. She flipped her phone book endlessly, waiting for her ph...

I find some difficulty confonting my feelings. I could be shy, not brave enough or buried inside my shell. Confronting yourself could be menacing, if you've ever tried to battle down your own truth. To unveil the truth behind our behavior could be a life time lesson. Many of us, bury their heads, and without any knowledge we loose the sight... " Just a feeling- was not just a description to a temporary state"   It is the truth behind every action taken, every behavior demonstrated. I dont know, if I am only battling those feeling, or they keep showing themselves infront of me. I fail sometimes to interrelate the coincidence , though the signs look all the same but with different labels. To confront is to understand yourself, tackle those shortfall, and promise to overcome the next time. Though you will find yourself repeating the same again and again, untill committing to overcome. Consistency is very important when you are determined. Direction is also an important...

Love is one of the paradoxes we keep on untackling. We loose everytime we fight the feeling. Meanings could be different, with love. Being in love could take you higher, sometimes away from being you. To keep intact of reality, to measure all other angles, to become wise enough to balance the truth. For whatever height you have reached, you 'll still maintain the lowest point. This is because love promises nothing, but the unforgotten. For whatever courage, truth or maybe justice you will be holding you 'll still have to fight down ego. With ego and love, something has to die to allow the other to survive. Ego can envelope all the truth, all the beauty, and the transparent emotion. With ego you will only be fighting the demons inside your head. For love can only flourish away from egocentrism and lies, and yet we fail so many times whence maintaining the balance of both trade. To love someone you have to let go all ego battles, to stand with a bare hand and feet on a naked...

I dont know where to begin now. Today at this point I am clueless, I ve written something a while back whence everything was in chaotic mood. I still feel lost sometimes, driving through a limbo I see myself. I try to concentrate though i fail to find my midpoint. Nothing is mattering now, I repeat a prayer, I focus a little bit , and loose it all over again. This has been happening for a while now, moving into swirl of black emotions. I remember, I was like that since 10 years back from now or maybe 15. I think I ve gone through alot that with each time, I helped myself back on track, i loose myself all again..... Maria started writing again, jotting her thoughts in a  journal she keeps by her bedside. Each night she writes a little before her pen falls down, as she slips into deep sleep. She dreams everyday, she is in a little boat made of cotton candy, above the 7th sky she swirls with the wind. She smiles, a comfort inside her grows every day a little. Hope inside her find...

Sometimes, its very easy to run into denial. An easy way out from chaos. Somewhere, where you can be anyone except yourself. Something we all do when we cant find answers or cant face the fear inside. All we do is hide rather than face things, and sleep rather than tackle those things as they come our way. Denying one self is one big thing we perfect as we walk through life. Fearing that if we face up with reality, we might loose something in between. But the  one thing we end up loosing is ourselves. Losing oneself is finding a way in between to satisfy everyone except YOURSELF. As we live among everyone else, we grow up accepting everything everyone is loving. The fear of  not matching the norm, of standing out, of being so different in a look alike community. The fear of being yourself. The fear of asking your self rather than hiding from all the answers. The fear of being labeled odd, different or bad. The fear of being a rebel, and a thriver on dif...

It started one dark night. Maria was suffering from a broken heart.She was lifeless, helpless and completely hopeless.She thought time have stopped when she had lost it all. Life's moments seemed so faraway. She wondered where was this hidding all. "I was  happy once.  Daddy's favorite girl, rich, lucky and above all got the whole world in my hands,She said! She met him inside her darkness- she couldnt recall the time or even the month. But she knew another chapter is yet to begin. Though, this time she has lost her compass. She knew deep down she was lost. And when you are lost you tend to hold on to anyone just to get out to the shore. She knew that from now on- Maria is  totally a different person. She was so heavy- carrying bags of memories and a heavy burden on her shoulders. She slouch when she walks. She dress all in black. And  find excuses to stay alone for so many hours- even days. Maria stopped talking to anyone- even her mother~ Maria st...

Her eyes were opened to the truth. Behind her, fell all meanings and infront of her hid all the truth. She was in doubt, in constant doubt of the truth. To follow or to rebel, to obey or to dismiss, to talk or to keep quiet. She started knowing what was behind a smile- a wicked eye or a sinful soul. She said she will fight from now on- she will thrive to be herself whether with or without a plural tense. She drew wings for her dreams to fly, from the window she always look from. Her heart was singing a song, from where she always used to live by.. She drew her wings, with heart of so many things. She knew that  her open kind heart, was her only sin ~ It took her time to heal those ugly stings- hurting the colors of her beautiful wings. Everyone admired and stared with a desire ~  We always envy the other, without paying attention to what the other person could face or feel or even suffer from. The desire to have what others have is an aim.