Secretcorner81

Sometimes, its very easy to run into denial. An easy way out from chaos. Somewhere, where you can be anyone except yourself. Something we all do when we cant find answers or cant face the fear inside. All we do is hide rather than face things, and sleep rather than tackle those things as they come our way. Denying one self is one big thing we perfect as we walk through life. Fearing that if we face up with reality, we might loose something in between. But the  one thing we end up loosing is ourselves. Losing oneself is finding a way in between to satisfy everyone except YOURSELF. As we live among everyone else, we grow up accepting everything everyone is loving. The fear of  not matching the norm, of standing out, of being so different in a look alike community. The fear of being yourself. The fear of asking your self rather than hiding from all the answers. The fear of being labeled odd, different or bad. The fear of being a rebel, and a thriver on dif...

It started one dark night. Maria was suffering from a broken heart.She was lifeless, helpless and completely hopeless.She thought time have stopped when she had lost it all. Life's moments seemed so faraway. She wondered where was this hidding all. "I was  happy once.  Daddy's favorite girl, rich, lucky and above all got the whole world in my hands,She said! She met him inside her darkness- she couldnt recall the time or even the month. But she knew another chapter is yet to begin. Though, this time she has lost her compass. She knew deep down she was lost. And when you are lost you tend to hold on to anyone just to get out to the shore. She knew that from now on- Maria is  totally a different person. She was so heavy- carrying bags of memories and a heavy burden on her shoulders. She slouch when she walks. She dress all in black. And  find excuses to stay alone for so many hours- even days. Maria stopped talking to anyone- even her mother~ Maria st...

Her eyes were opened to the truth. Behind her, fell all meanings and infront of her hid all the truth. She was in doubt, in constant doubt of the truth. To follow or to rebel, to obey or to dismiss, to talk or to keep quiet. She started knowing what was behind a smile- a wicked eye or a sinful soul. She said she will fight from now on- she will thrive to be herself whether with or without a plural tense. She drew wings for her dreams to fly, from the window she always look from. Her heart was singing a song, from where she always used to live by.. She drew her wings, with heart of so many things. She knew that  her open kind heart, was her only sin ~ It took her time to heal those ugly stings- hurting the colors of her beautiful wings. Everyone admired and stared with a desire ~  We always envy the other, without paying attention to what the other person could face or feel or even suffer from. The desire to have what others have is an aim.

She touched the cold glass behind her weak hand, she admired repeatdly. The sanity she still has, and all doubts have gone. She managed to look again for pens, papers were oftenly laid ahead. Got her bags ready for tomorrow. She caught another sight of him- maybe it wasnt real or maybe the head started the game, again! She knew that from now on, she has to rely on herself, not that she was abondend. But a belief inside her grew so much bigger. She started to see things differently this time. People faces fell behind, around the corner they were brushed aside. Nothing really was important, not that she had placed a lot of emphasis on. No one really cared!  She packed her heart inside a box to protect it from the mess. She saved the moments, maybe alot of moments from everyone. She would always observe before talking back or respond. Elegantly demure she would share her mini snacks with beggers, she believed in the power of love, and human .. She never anticipated nor pr...

Every early morning she blew a heart on the little window  beside her bed. Weather was cold, like every other day. She remembered she had this habit when she was five or ten. She would always blew her dreams every morning, say a prayer and kiss them goodbye. A belief she has learned from her mother. Today at 60, she still send her wishes and dreams seal them with a kiss and a smiling heart~ ****** A very well known "holly man" of a nearby town. Early morning at four he is awake to battle away his disease with  the "morning prayer". He never waned to go, neither sickess stopped him from walking long distances to the "mosque". At 4:00 he splash some cold water into his weak body and stride ardently with pride. A hardly gone habit from his mind ~ ****** She smiled at the letters she have received- admired patiently at the carved envelops, to the touch of papers and cards against her skin. Things she had always treasured. She kept the letters inside ...

She drew a line on the papers she held at hand. She hid her letters from the prying eyes. A straight line of where she will land into the space she has dreamt to be. Away and yet so attached. Every string was tangling her thoughts, every corner was attached with a memory. She had hopes to unleash all, and find another space to start anew. At four, her mother taught her how to look into the mirror and admiringly snaps at everyone else. Mother taught her that she was the only important person, and everyone else doesnt count. She taught her how to be proud, prideful and so conceited. She taught her how to dress elegantly and admire her figure on the reflection of everything, especially eyes! She fought her place in nowhere land, she was arrogant, aggressive and so much glamorous. She hanged everyone . Basically, enemies existed only inside her head. At six, she managed to learn how to blow her birthday's ballons. Mother was keen to teach her everything, so tha...

She pulled a robe from a will, thats what she used to do every night when all go to sleep. Late at night when she was away, she pulled out so many strings, she said she was repairing them, maybe tidying them, or else she thought she had lost. She started writing, so many things she had on mind. She knew that with writing she could pave many roads to where she aspires to land. Meanings, and maybe more of realities she have hid or tried to untie. Faces covered with so many layers, hidden from the sun. Groomed so perfectly. Beautiful as it could be. Words sweet as sugar, and so she fought to be. At 18, she dreamed of so many bubbles to enclose her in a mystery. She loved untackling puzzles, games she'd thought she could master. She decided that she'd choose from now on, even her thoughts or wishes. Choosing is part of our destiney.  Whatever you choose, or tend to think of, or feel you attract. Maria, has choosen to be, and when she decided, she walked on the...